Category: Let's talk
topic explains it all ey? yesterday I told a friend that I was blind and they handeled it well. that's the second internet friend that I've told I am blind, the rest don't know, say for yall zoners. So, have you met someone in a chat room and not told them you are blind for a while, then decided to tell them? what was their reaction to the news?
When I meet new people, it's usually either when they first talk to me on here, or when they answer a penpal ad that I put up on a site. As far as the penpal thing goes, I always mention that I'm blind in my profiles, and thepeople who talk to me from there either don't mind at all or don't catch on until they want to show me their picture or do an emodicon that JAWS can't read, and I actually tell them I can't see it. All of them don't seem to mind, and most ask lots of questions, especially how I can be on the computer if I can't see. So I just explain about JAWS and all that. We're usually pretty cool with each other, except when some had it in their heads to be perverts reguardless of anything. But the ones that wen't perverts, I still talk to, and blindness isn't a thing for them at all, Ifg we discuss it, it's cool, and if not, that's cool too. *smiles*
I neam the ones that, weren't!, perverts.
well,I usually always told people I was blind right off, and I've gotten different reactions. I went on the excite website for a while, www.excite.com
Some handled it quite well, and treated me normally, and some people's reaction was to stop talking to me, and some just left the chat room in a hurry, like it was a contagious disease. I met some on paltalk who were good about it, for example, a pair of twins ran a room, and one twin always told me if anyone typed something for me in text, and made sure people identified themselves when they spoke to me. some just didn't get it. But there was one man in new zealand I talked to in a pass word protected room, and if he had to leave the room, and I was the only other person in the room, he would put in text that said, warning, tc is blind, please be kind, so that if anyone came in, they'd know to speak up so they'd know I wasn't just ignoring them.
wonderwoman
I always tell my email friends that I'm blind and I always say it in my pen pal adds too! I don't go into chat rooms! My new German friend Simone had a lot of questiones and I answered all of them for her! We are cool!
cool! yeah, their first question is always "so how are you on the compiuter" but it's cool.
Since I communicate via Email with any friends I make online, I always tell them right off the bat that I can't see. usually, they're decent on the subject, I've gotten a few I'm so sorry for you's, which are fine by me. they would pity us, since sight is so integral to their lives, and we can't naturally fault them for it. we'd pity folks who had no hands, I think.
yep, it's not that I'm embarrassed to tell them I suppose, just that I don't make friends in person due to my nature, and I want friends online, I dunno I want to know a person's true personality, to know what they're really like if you know what I mean, hell, I confuse myself!
I dont frequent chat rooms but have admitted to being blind via E-mail.The reaction hmmm at first a high level of curiosity, then eventual piss takes, but fortunately I'm used to that living in Scotland.
when i come to this question, i'll ask myself, if they can't accept as who i am, this is not someone where i should friend with.
When I am chatting on messenger or e-mailing friends that don't have messengers. I mention that i am viually impaired to them because I want to be honest with them right off the bat. Some sighted people who I have met either quit talking to me, don't even know what to talk about in a convo with a blind or VI individual, or talk down to me like I'm stupid due to my visual impairment. However some sighted people I have chatted with I made success in becoming good friends with them. I just do NOT like people who judge books by their cover and I speak for all of us when I say this. There are some pretty damn good friends i made in the blind community if just given the chance to get to know them which sighted folks tend to not do.
true
I think snowflake has a good point, and pretty much expresses my point of view. Why would you want to hide your blindness or anyother disability, just because the person on the other end might not want to talk to us anymore? Some people won't talk to you anyway, and for me, being ignored is becoming a fact of life. When I told a nice lady in england I was blind and also had osteogenesis imperfecta, she said, "oh you poor thing, it's like nature played some cruel trick on you. You couldn't just have one disability, you had to have two, and yet you remain so cheerful. I told her I was born blind, and with the bone disease, so i came in the world adjusted to it, whereas, if I had had no disabilities, then went blind later in life and got the bone disease later also, I might not have handled it well.
wonderwoman
I don't know why I do it, don't tell people. I do tell them eventually though
I generally choose to get to know people a bit before telling them. I suppose this is because I know it will give me a fair shot at gaining their friendship on my own merits. I don't want all the stigma genrally associated with blindness to be a part of their initial first-impressions. I am more than just my blindness afterall. Also, being as I don't fit any stereotypes, and chances are that is all they have to go on about blind people, I'm not willing to put myself into that stereotyped corner.
I'm with Icequeen on this one. With pen pal ads or introductions in chat rooms, I don't tell people I'm blind, not off the bat. There are three reasons for this:
1) Emotional privacy. My blindness, though obvious, is a private matter with me. I don't talk about being blind much... not that I mind talking about it, just that I don't. If everyone on the Internet knew I am blind, then it wouldn't be just a personal matter for me to discuss with those close to me. Most of the people I seem to gravitate toward are the deep thinkers. The "how do you feel about it" rather than the "I ahve this gut reaction as to how I would feel" kind of reaction. I don't like discussiong my feelings about my blindness with those I am not close to, as it is a complex issue.
2) Safety: Let's face it, there are folks who think we blindies are easy targets. As it is, few people on the Internet (heck, even this site) know my real name, and I chose to keep it that way until I get to know someone very well. Same with my blindness; I live in a city with a fairly small blind community, so it wouldn't be hard to find me......
3) My own merits: Like Icequeen, I want to be able to befriend someone based on common interests (music, hockey, books...) and build a friendship based on our commonalities. Granted, most people I've talked to have been cool, but others have been very cold about it. It's easier to pass a blindie by on first inspection than it is to toss away a budding friendship because you don't know how you feel about a blindie's differences (or the differences you perceive).
Just my two cents,
Kate
I always tell my online friends that I'm blind! I don't like it when they feel sorry for me! I now understand how they can do it! When my dad lost his legs to cancer I told him how sorry I was and knowing how much I hate it when people do it with me now that my dad died I am proud of him for learning how to move and stuff while waiting to try to get artificial legs!
thanks icequeen and crazymusician, that's what I was trying to say exactly! we all have our own ways to go about it, but crazyMusician hit it pretty much nail on the head why I don't tell peopel right off, thanks you 2.
Yes thanks to crazy musician from me as well. CM you really made my point in a much more elequent way. Thanks. It's lovely to not be alone in taking this stance. *grin*
yep, and like last night I told another friend and he wrote, and I quote
"ahh, ,all those pervy things I said to you!"
I replied
"that matters now does it?"
he wrote
"No, but to hear it spoken aloud, it'd just be creepy"
he's more distant now tht I've told him, I dunno, it's... sigh yeah
I don't tell them at first, I mean untill I find the occasion... like do you want to see my picture or something like that and well someone just said ah ok. and kept talking to me and treat me normally but I had someone say to me I don't believe you are blind, you are intelligent. right, some of them decide we have to be idiots cause we are blind. fine I don't give a damn. and well anyway I wouldn't want as a friend someone who doesn't accept... "imperfect people" even if I wasn't blind, so I want to see their reaction before I become their friend
Haunted, that's too bad. It's a bummer for you and a loss for him.
I've met people in chat rooms, and after a little while when i told them i was blind, they started asking me all sorts of questions, lke, how do you use the computer and stuff like that.
yeah. one friend, he took it well, but he tested me to see if I really was blind because he didn't believe me. He used yellow font on a yellow background so that I couldn't read it with sight, but he believes me and we're great friends.
I usually wait until I know them really well. Most are fine with it and I get a few that say I'm sorry, and even one that said I'll have to go cry for you which I think was a bit over there head, but sometimes I'll get people that are just rude about it and I agree if they can't accept you, then don't be friends.
Usually if i am chatting in rooms i just don't say it. But if i am talking through emails, on here, or maing a profile for another site i will let it be known that i am totally blind.
If I were one who was into chats, I'd most likely wait a bit, although I'd rather tell folks sooner than later. That way, if the person can't deal, there's no real attachment so nothing's been lost. I pretty much wait until I need to tell them in the normal flow of conversation.
I don't tell anyone unles there is no choice but to tell them. Who cares anyway?
James
For me it depends on th esituation. I rarely show up in chat rooms I have been here on the zone a few times but It isn't habitual. I find it difficult to speak with people generally in a text chat situation. I don't exactly hide the fact that I'm blind, or trouble myself to advertise either.
Hi! This is a good and interesting topic! Well, when I was younger, like 12/13/14, I'd never tell people that I was totally blind, or even use my real name on the sites that I visit, or the chatrooms I'd go to. I wait until I know the person a while, and make sure I can trust them, and then eventually, I'll tell them. They usually are shocked that I'm blind. (and I get the same kinda questions y'all do!) "How do you use the computer?" and I explain to them about Jaws, and that its a screenreading softwhere. (I usually tell like if I belong to a community of fans of a spiffic artist,) I'll usually tell the Moderators of the Community that I can't see. (just in case I need help with something or something). But I usually don't go right out and let the whole world know that I can't see. But good topic though!- Amber
Well I always inform people over the Internet about my blindness
some after long time become friends, other remain correspondants. But unfortunately most people ask me if I am teasing them
There is a lot of ignorance, many people think blinds can not write on a computer and use sofisticated software as skype for instance
then I enjoy calling them by voice and make them hear my voice synth
and tell them f. off if they still don't believe me :)